So what exactly are you doing for me Publishing Company?

The publishing industry has changed drastically over the past decade and because of these changes, authors must now carry the responsibilities of marketing, promotions and publicity for their books. This is a daunting task, and many authors fail, losing their publishing contract or possibly any future contracts. It’s a hard, cold fact … an author’s books must sell and sell well for the publishing machine to keep moving.

SORRY WHAT?
 I saw a post on Twitter from a publishing company that shall remain unnamed and saw the above written there.  I am thoroughly confused.  I'm sorry, if I wanted to carry the responsibilities of marketing, promotions and publicity for my books I would skip you guys altogether and self publish.

Now, to be fair this may be only one companies policy and as very few publishers are taking unsolicited manuscripts getting to the meat of what they offer in terms of author support is difficult.  The other "unknown" is if literary agents take care of this.

Why am I concerned about this?  Because I don't want to market and promote my book myself.  I'm not lazy, but I also don't have a degree in business, marketing and/or advertising.  I'm a writer.  What do I want to do?  Write.

Self publishing is great and kudos to all of the success stories out there.  I am not one of them.  I have made a grand total of $7.79 from e-book sales on top of the $700 or so I made from sales of the hard copies (which was about break even for my cost of printing).  With promotion and all of that I likely could do better but I want to finish my full length novel.

In my eyes a writer who has to do all the work to sell his book is akin to a race car driver having to do his own pit stops.

So, do I want a "Traditional" Publisher?  Well, sort of, I completely embrace e-books and new techniques of  publishing but at the same time I want to be sort of taken care of, given deadlines, told when and where to do signings and have someone else run ads for me.  This is what I am paying you <>80% of my book costs for.

So unnamed book company, if all you are giving me for my book is a small percentage of sales, a few bytes of data space and a bit of paper, no thanks.

Thanks For Reading

P.S.
Check out The Global 50: The World's Largest Book Publishers, 2012
Of note: #8 Random House posted revenue of almost $2.3 Billion last year.

Also of Note:
After writing this I happened to get a tweet from another publisher who will be named (Evolved Publishing) who sound like exactly what I will be looking for when the time comes.

Finding my Writing Vice. A Journey to Addiction

The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.

---Homer

 

Write Drunk, Edit Sober

---Ernest Hemingway

 

 

I need a vice.  It always seems that the most creative people have addictions of some sort, even Robert Munsch admitted to a drug addiction (No, not the zany random Robert Munsch).  Two of my favourite literary figures, Hunter S. Thompson and Ernest Hemingway are both notoriously known for their life's excesses, it played heavily into their writing and without it they likely would not have been as successful as they were.

I doubt I can ever be taken seriously as a writer.  Who wants to read a story from someone who is happily married, never been to rehab or jail and doesn't even have a tattoo (I'm glad so few read this blog otherwise I would be so embarrassed).  For Christ's sakes the skeletons in my closet came with the house and I have the documentation to prove it!

I think the best sounding addiction for a writer is a sex addiction, the problem with that is (at least for male writers) is that an unsuccessful man does not make a very good bedfellow and being able to bed enough woman to be able to fulfill the necessary criteria for an addiction for someone who would have difficulty finding willing partners would really cut into writing time.

I used to smoke pot occasionally as a youth but, with the side effect of getting a good nights sleep and it's inability to be a gateway drug for me, it was almost the anti-drug.  At one time I could drink a 26 of rye (that's 26 oz of Canadian Whiskey for those that may not know) but that was before I owned a computer.  Have you ever tried using a typewriter drunk?  On a side note, they're a bitch to clean up when you puke on them!  That level of alcohol use was completely impractical when you lived at home and by the time I could afford, both time wise and dollar wise, to maintain a 26oz a day drinking habit my body couldn't handle it.  When it comes to hangovers I am a big baby and it's incredibly hard to find sympathy for hangovers (apparently it can be found in the dictionary between shit and syphilis but I've never bothered looking).

I found that I am way too much of a cheap bastard to be able to afford the "good drugs."  If I was making enough money to buy coke or heroine that would likely mean that I was already successful, see the loop?  I couldn't really imagine snorting cocaine off a designer coffee table with a $100 bill, first of all that coffee table could likely buy me a Macbook and the $100 bill would go a long ways to some really awesome writing software never mind the cost of the blow.

I used to have cigarettes.  God bless cigarettes, just bad ass enough for some legitimacy but not overly interfering with your day to day life, or so I always thought.  It turns out that when you have kids and a wife, who doesn't smoke, it's quite frowned upon.  It's not that enjoyable to stand outside at -30° shivering with your wife standing at the door giving you a dirty look and trying to keep the kids from seeing you for fear that they may start the same dirty habit.  It turned from a love of smoking (I really did love to smoke despite the known health risks) to smoking a butt in 3 minutes to keep me from freaking out.  I decided it was time to quit.  It's been four months. UPDATE: Apparently I am not a quitter… good for somethings, this, not so much

Image by Bortwein

What does that leave me with coffee?  Coffee? Who ever heard of a great artist dying from a coffee overdose.

D. Ryan Leask, celebrated author known for his excessive lifestyle and gritty real novels died today of an apparent coffee overdose, he was 36.  He had struggled with addiction his entire life and had recently been released from the Juan Valdez Clinic in Bogota, where he had been seeking treatment for caffeine over the last three months.  He is survived by his Three Ex-Wives, Elizabeth, Brittany and Kiki as well as numerous children.

I do have a coffee addiction but that is about as shocking as discovering dogs have a propensity for ballsack licking.  As far as vices go coffee is a weak one (but if you take my coffee away I swear to the almighty that I will rip out your gullet and shove it up a lion's ass!)

So in an effort to legitimize my future writing career and with much research and consultation with my family, my physician and numerous other people in my life I have decided to pursue an addiction, although not as lethal as Meth or as satisfying as Tequila but:

 

My god I love Shoestring licorice!

Thanks for Reading

D. Ryan Leask